Learn the 11 habits of unhappy people and actions you can take to avoid them.
Happiness isn’t just a feeling.
It’s a result of our choices and daily habits.
Sometimes, without even realizing it, we engage ourselves in behaviors that slowly eats away at our happiness and sense of well-being.
If you’ve been feeling stuck, frustrated, or unfulfilled, it might be time to take a closer look at some unconscious bad habits that could be making you unhappy.
Habits, whether it’s good or bad, aren’t set in stone, and a simple small change can lead to big shifts in how you feel. Here are 11 negative habits that might be affecting your happiness and action steps you can take to change it.
11 Habits Of Unhappy People
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1. Comparing yourself to others
In today’s world, comparison is easier than ever — it’s literally at our fingertips.
With social media showcasing the “best moments” of everyone’s lives, it’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling like we’re behind or not doing enough.
Here’s the truth:
- Not everything you see on social media is real, they’re often promotional content. You never truly know what’s happening behind the scenes
- No one has it all figured out — everyone is learning as they go.
- Everyone’s journey is different. We all have unique goals, timelines, and aspirations.
Avoid comparing yourself to someone else’s as this negative habit will only lead to discontent, dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
What to do instead:
- Stick to your own lane
- Focus on your own progress
- Celebrate small wins
- Remind yourself that your path is unique just like everyone else’s
2. Neglecting self-care
Life gets busy.
With multiple hats to wear and balls to juggle, self-care often become the last priority.
But skipping meals, sacrificing sleep, or ignoring your body’s calling aren’t just self-sabotaging habits, they are a recipe for disaster.
While the effect might not be immediate, these unhealthy habits can compound over time, leading to overwhelm and exhaustion.
What to do instead:
- Make self-care a priority, even in small ways
- Take breaks, get enough rest, and do activities that fills your cup
- Ask, hire or delegate help to free up time for yourself
3. Not setting boundaries
People-pleasing might seem like a nice thing to do, but if it comes at the expense of your well-being, it’s self-sabotaging and unsustainable.
When you continuously do things that don’t align with your needs, it can lead to resentment, stress, and emotional exhaustion.
What to do instead:
- Set clear boundaries; whether you choose to say “yes” or “no”, make sure that your decision supports your happiness
- Learn to be confident with your decisions and action without guilt
- Protect your time and energy
4. Holding onto grudges
When someone has wronged us, it’s easy to assume that holding onto grudges is the right thing to do.
But in reality, resentment doesn’t punish them — it punishes us.
And sadly, the longer we carry anger or bitterness, the more it weighs us down, keeping us trapped in negativity.
What to do instead:
- Practice forgiveness, not for them, but for yourself
- Letting go — this doesn’t mean that what they did was acceptable, it’s simply freeing yourself
- Journal whenever resentment arises
- Talk to a friend, therapist or life coach
5. Overthinking everything
Overthinking is destructive.
It creates unnecessary stress and anxiety by making problems and worries seem bigger than they actually are.
Also, constantly dwelling on worst-case scenarios only reinforces more fear, doubt and negativity, making happiness harder to attain.
What to do instead:
- Challenge your overthinking with questions like: Is this thought helpful and true? What is the real reason behind this overthinking?
- Do a journal dump of everything that’s on your mind
- Talk to a friend for a second perspective and to help you sort out your thoughts
6. Surrounding yourself with negative people
Energy is contagious.
If you’re constantly around people who complain, gossip, or bring negativity, their mindset and way of doing things will inevitably influence you.
As Jim Rohn said “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with,” and overtime they will shape your habits and your outlook on life.
What to do instead:
- Choose your circle wisely; surround yourself with positive, high vibrational people
- Distance yourself from people you don’t want to become
- Cultivate positive relationships that uplift and inspire you
- Avoid hanging out with people who drains your energy
7. Always seeking perfection
Perfection doesn’t exist.
What seems perfect to you might be completely different to someone else.
Thus, chasing perfection only leads to stress, disappointment, frustration, and a never-ending feeling of “not good enough.”
Instead, aim for progress and excellence.
What to do instead:
- Shift your focus to progress, not perfection
- Adopt the mindset that done is better than perfect
8. Living in the past or future
Your life is happening right now — not in the past or future.
Replaying past mistakes or worrying about an unpredictable future only robs you from the possibilities that you could have in the present moment.
Remember:
No amount of dwelling on the past will change it.
No amount of worrying about the future will give you control over it.
The only power you have is the actions you choose to take and the feelings you choose to have in the present moment.
What to do instead:
- Practice mindfulness and meditation to keep yourself grounded and in the moment
- Journal about things that are occupying your heart and mind
- Talk to a professional to help you move on from the past
9. Ignoring gratitude
“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more.
If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” — Oprah
Gratitude is like compound interest — the more you practice it, the more abundance you attract.
On the flip side, focusing on what’s missing can make life feel like a constant struggle and that things are never enough.
Other ways of ignoring gratitude include taking people for granted, failing to express our appreciation, and exhibiting an attitude of entitlement.
What to do instead:
- Develop a gratitude habit
- Show appreciation, no matter how small
- Keep a gratitude journal; write daily 3 things you’re grateful
- Volunteer or give back
- Express gratitude to others immediately and sincerely
10. Not asking for help
It’s ok not to be ok.
Struggling in silence doesn’t make you strong — it only make things harder.
Whether it’s out of pride, fear, or self-reliance, refusing help can lead to burnout, loneliness and unnecessary stress.
Remember, you don’t have to figure everything out on your own, and you certainly don’t have to do it all on your own either.
What to do instead:
- Ask or hire for help (mentor, therapist, coach, friend, etc)
- Join support groups
- Delegate your work or tasks
11. The constant negative self-talk
Your words have power.
Whether that’s positive or negative self-talk, the way you speak to yourself shapes your thoughts, emotions, and actions.
What’s more is that your subconscious mind can’t distinguish between what’s real and false — it simply absorbs repeated thoughts as facts.
Even the words of others can influence you. Being around people who constantly put you down or speak negatively can impact your self-worth and sense of well-being.
What to do instead:
- Speak to yourself with kindness
- Give yourself grace and compassion
- Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations that uplift and empower you.
Good Habits = Happier Life
You have the power to change your life.
By becoming aware of these bad habits that are making you unhappy and making small shifts, you can create a life that feels lighter, more fulfilling, and aligned with what truly matters to you.
Which of these habits do you struggle with the most? Let me know in the comments!
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