Learn how to coach yourself for free with these 7 best self-coaching questions.
Are you feeling stuck on your personal growth journey?
You’ve read self-help books, watched inspiring YouTube videos, and listened to daily podcasts. They are all useful, but you still feel like something is missing.
ENTER: Self-coaching.
You’ve read it right. It’s self-coaching, not coaching.
While coaching has been a buzzing trend, did you know that it’s possible to self-coach yourself?
When you coach yourself, you’re both the coach and coachee. You ask yourself powerful questions and hold yourself accountable for your goals and vision.
It’s a solo and empowering ride of self-discovery, learning, and growth.
In this post, we’ll explore what coaching yourself is all about, how to become your own best coach, and use the best self-coaching questions to take your glow-up journey to the next level.
What is Self-Coaching
Self-coaching is the practice of guiding yourself through a process of introspection, reflection, and goal-setting to achieve personal and/or professional growth.
It’s a DIY process that involves asking yourself thought-provoking questions, challenging your beliefs, and taking proactive steps to overcome obstacles and achieve your desired outcomes.
Self-coaching is also a personal responsibility.
You must hold yourself accountable for everything you do, or don’t do. it’s like policing yourself to make sure that you’re on the right track, and that your actions and efforts are leading you toward your desired goal.
Coaching yourself is also a form of self-care because it involves taking care of and nurturing your mind, body, and soul. By investing time and effort into self-coaching, you’re making a conscious effort to improve yourself and lead a better life.
How to Coach Yourself For Success
Whether it’s personal or professional, you’ve probably been coaching yourself without realizing it. Let’s dive deeper on ways to expand your self-coaching experience and take your growth journey to the next level.
Here are 6 steps on how to coach yourself for free.
1. Develop a growth mindset
Self-coaching is an opportunity to discover more about yourself, and having a growth mindset is essential to take your development journey to the next level.
- Be open. Self-discovery is filled with surprises, so be prepared to welcome all new learnings.
- Be curious. Lean in with curiosity. This creates opportunities for new ideas, experiences, and connections. You may even discover hidden potential that you were not aware of.
- Be flexible. Be stubborn with your goal but flexible with how you get there. Remember, there’s always more than one way to achieve a specific outcome.
- Embrace challenges. Roadblocks are a natural part of your growth journey. Consider your problems as a challenge and find creative ways to overcome them.
- Stay positive. Attitude is everything. Maintaining a positive outlook will help you stay motivated, focused, and optimistic as you encounter obstacles and setbacks. When you remain positive, you will be better equipped to overcome challenges and achieve your goals
2. Identify gaps and areas for growth
Be very honest with yourself – where are you at right now?
Take stock of your current situation and identify the disconnect between where you are to where you want to be
Once you’ve done that, then you have a few options to choose from:
- Start with the area you want the most growth
- Work on an area that is the catalyst of all other change
- Pick the area that is the easiest to change
Whichever option you choose, start small, and slowly work your way up to more challenging goals. This helps to avoid feeling overwhelmed, keeps you motivated, and prevents you from being easily defeated by setbacks.
3. Ask powerful questions
Asking the right questions is a vital part of both coaching and self-coaching. A powerful and thought-provoking question can empower you to think and act differently, challenge your assumptions, deepen your self-awareness, and spark new inspiration.
“If you do not know how to ask the right question, you discover nothing.”
William Edwards Deming
4. Hold yourself accountable
Self-coaching is self-discipline.
If you can’t hold yourself accountable, then self-coaching might not be right for you.
There are many ways to cultivate self-accountability, and the best approach will depend on your strengths, weaknesses, and priorities. Consider using tracking tools and techniques to help you stay on track and monitor your progress.
You can also find an accountability partner to help, but it’s important to remember that ultimately it’s up to you to do the work and stay on track. At the end of the day, your goal is your responsibility.
5. Track your progress
Whether it’s journaling, spreadsheets or apps, it’s important to create a system to track your progress. This can provide valuable insights into your journey, allowing you to see what’s working or not, and course-correct when necessary.
Avoid looking at your progress every day, but a regular review, like once or twice a week, is a great way to stay on top of things and to keep yourself motivated and focused.
6. Celebrate each milestone
PRO TIP: Be your own #1 cheerleader in life.
Cheer yourself when everyone is watching.
Cheer yourself when no one is watching.
Whether you achieved a small win or hit the jackpot, it’s important to recognize the effort and dedication you’ve made in reaching each milestone.
Celebrating your progress not only boosts your confidence and belief in yourself, but it reinforces positive habits and behaviors that contribute to your ongoing success.
Best Self-Coaching Questions To Ask Yourself
The best way to approach these self-coaching questions is to start with the one that resonates with you the most or applies to your current situation, growth, or vision. If any time you feel like these questions are too heavy, take a break, and return to it when you’re in a better head space.
Remember, there is no right or wrong answer to these questions. Your answer is merely a guide for self-understanding and clarity to better decision-making and action planning.
1. In the eyes of the younger me, to survive and succeed, I should…
WARNING: This is a very deep and penetrating question so it might trigger unhappy memories and unwelcome emotions. Answer this question only if you’re ready. As always, be gentle, kind and compassionate with yourself.
This refelction prompt invites you to:
- explore your past and how the experiences have shaped you
- learn why you are the way you are
- learn why you do the things you do
- heal your past
- release and forgive yourself or anyone involved in your past
- connect with your inner child and discover their unmet needs
- discover the root cause of your triggers
- explore the truth behind your current coping strategies and defense mechanism
2. What’s one thing you must do but you’re not doing?
In other words, what’s keeping you stuck? What must you confront to move yourself forward? This could be a person, a situation, a past that you need to release, or something completely different.
To get the most out of this question, you must be 100% honest with yourself and be courageous enough to address the root cause as to why you’re not doing the thing you’re supposed to be doing.
This journal prompt will empower you to:
- challenge your status quo
- question your current beliefs and mindset
- show up for yourself and confront your fears
- address things about yourself that you’re refusing to face
- create steps to build self-confidence and self-esteem
3. What stands between you and ____________?
Is this a belief, a fear, a habit, a situation, or something else?
We all have a goal, a dream or a particular lifestyle we aspire to have. Often times we are not there yet because there is something that stands in our way, halting us from getting what we want. This could be trauma, fear, a person, your physical environment or even a hope or an illusion. Whatever it is, it’s important to address this head on and not let it stop us from living the life we deeply desire.
This fill-in-the-blank question invites you to:
- identify the disconnect between where you are right now to where you want to be
- explore the root cause of this gap and ways to close or minimize it
- identify the skills you need to learn or unlearn to achieve your desire
- create actionable steps to manifest your desire
- take bold steps to overcome what’s standing in your way
4. Tell me who you are without telling me your name, age, gender, occupation, ethnicity, relationship status, how you look like, where you live, how much money you make or any labels given to you by society.
This is a mouthful one, but so worth it.
This reflection question invites you to recognize yourself for who you are without weight of the labels you carry — that is look deep within and ask yourself “Who am I, really?“
There is no right or wrong answer to this question. But whatever you come up with, that is the essence of who you truly are.
This difficult question empowers you to:
- look deep within and discover who you really are
- detach yourself from the labels, the materialistic stuff, and anything that’s outside of you
- build self-awareness
- recognise that your worth is not defined by others
- show compassion and kindness towards yourself and others
- love and accept yourself
5. What lies have you been telling yourself?
Honesty is the best policy.
It’s the truth that sets us free, giving us room to grow and thrive. Are you courageous enough to face your truth?
This reflection question will encourage you to:
- confront yourself and the truth
- discover the root cause and reason behind the lies
- uncover any limiting beliefs you have surrounding the truth
- take action to change the narrative of your story and situation
6. What trade-offs are you willing to make to achieve your goals?
Don’t tell me your goals.
Tell me what you’re willing to sacrifice to achieve those goals.
Are you willing to miss your Saturday drinking nights to lose that extra 10 pounds? Would you be willing to wake up one hour earlier before work to write your blog?
This thought-provoking question invites you to:
- consider the trade-offs you need to make to actualise your goals
- create new habits and routines that complements your goals
- release habits and routines that don’t serve your goals
- explore the skills you need to have to make your goal a success
Wanna know the #1 reason why people can’t achieve their goals or they are still unhappy even if they got what they want? It’s one simple question you need to ask yourself — it will save you time, money and energy. Click here to find out!
7. How do you want to be remembered?
If you were to die at this moment, would you want to be remembered as the person you are right now?
This question is not about caring what other people think of you. It’s about the footprints, memories, and legacy you want to leave behind for others.
This reflection prompt empowers you to:
- learn who you are right now
- discover the person want to become
- identify the disconnect between who you are and who you want to become (ie. what’s holding you back?)
- create actionable steps to manifest your future-self
Coach Yourself Today
If you want to take your growth journey to the next level, then these self-coaching questions can help.
It’s a fun, challenging and empowering self-practice to get to know yourself and tap into your unrealised potentials.
And if you feel ready for deeper support, guidance, and personalised insight, I’d love to walk that journey with you. Click here to learn more and apply for 1:1 private coaching.
The articles are very helpful and thought provoking. I look forward to implementing them into days ahead.
Glad you find them helpful! Happy journaling:)